Aug 31, 2010

Managing Your Anger

Are you quick to fly into a rage when someone pushes your buttons? Do you seethe with fury over minor slights?

Anger is a natural, human emotion which we all feel from time to time. Learning to understand your anger gives you the power to change destructive behaviour and make positive differences to your outlook on life.

There are two types of anger: external anger and internal anger. External anger is more common in men, whereas internal anger is usually found in women and is linked to disappointment, frustration and depression. When you feel angry try to understand your thoughts and feelings. Are they valid? Are you over-reacting? How will you deal with the emotion?

Ask yourself some questions – and be honest with yourself. Are you overwhelmed, tired and angry often?

Tiredness and stress lead to irritability. This in turn makes it easier to get to your anger point quickly, as though it is simmering away constantly just waiting for a trigger to set you off. It also causes depression and moodiness and this too leads to feelings of anger. If you suffer from sleep deprivation and/or prolonged insomnia it is imperative to seek medical advice. A good night’s rest and sleep can work wonders.

When others make you feel angry, try to recognize the cause. Is it the actual person, something they’ve said or done, or an issue within yourself that needs to be dealt with and healed. In metaphysical theory when we see something we dislike in another (a personality trait or pattern), we in turn recognize something within ourselves that we dislike. Just like the old saying goes ‘it takes one to know one.’ Figure out what your issue is, then work on yourself and deal with it appropriately.

A lot of anger comes from bottling up our emotions until they finally bubble up to the top, over-flow and spiral out of control. Deal with your emotions beforehand rather than afterwards. Only you know how you really feel about things, so work on them before they have the chance to be buried only to come up with fury at a later date.

Be upfront and honest with yourself and others. Become more assertive within yourself and calmly tell others what has upset you before the situation escalates. Explain what has made you angry (or what makes you angry) and why. Be specific and upfront.

In today’s fast-moving world we are all so busy trying to fit everything into our day to day lives that it is easy to allow ongoing stress and anger to build and grow as we go from one task/frustration to the next. Make a point to reduce stress in your life by exercising daily (even a simple walk will achieve this) and by paying attention to your diet. A healthy diet and physically active lifestyle helps us to keep ourselves in balance. Meditation, deep breathing, yoga and/or any personally enjoyable pastime will alleviate your feelings of anger and frustration.

Call for ‘time out’. If feeling overwhelmed with anger, take some time out. Take yourself away from the situation rather than react in the heat of the moment. Count to ten – then count to ten again. Calm yourself.

Our emotions and how we deal with them are our own responsibility – solely. Others can upset us, but it is up to us as to how we handle it. Take responsibility for your own actions.

"Measure your success not by the mistakes you make, but how you attend to them." - John Vale

"If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it".

- Mary Engelbreit

"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people".

- Anonymous

"Experience is not what happens to a man, it's what a man does with what happens to him".

- Aldous Huxley

Joanne Walmsley
Sacred Scribes

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